Sep 17, 2008

Strange Things

Ok, guys. First things first.

I have to give a shout out to my fantastic cousin Chantelle and my ex-coworker, Eric...so...holla!

Now. On with the blog.

Lots and lots of things have happened to me since I blogged last. You really have to expect the unexpected when you work for Disney.

Let me first bring up my greatest disappointment.

Johnny Depp was in Magic Kingdom at the same time as me, but no one told me until the day after. I was in the presence of greatness, and no one thought I would care. Think again, guys. And, I heard he was waiting for Lizzi in this pose...

Interesting, no? Too bad no one told her about it either. She missed it.

I also got to go to a Halloween party. We have them 2x a week here in the Magic Kingdom. It's actually pretty awesome. People go all out with their costumes. And being that I'm super fun, I was in charge of coming up with ways to interact with the guests, so I had limbo contests and sword fights with these Mickey Mouse plastic light up swords. In fact, I was so good at sword fighting, that Dopey the Dwarf saw me and challenged me to a duel. I won and he ran away. It was fabulous.

I'm not even kidding. That actually happened. 100% truth.

The day after, I got to go INSIDE Cinderella's castle and get a tour of her guest suite. It was AWESOME! There's a waterfall in the bathroom.

It was equisite. I want to live there forever.

I also got "robbed." We were having a tremendously bad storm (courtesy of Hurricane whatever. I can't keep them straight.) and I was selling this lady like 8 ponchos. This other lady came up and just grabbed them and ran.

Seriously? You're gonna steal ponchos from Disney World? Ok. You're cool.

Lucky for me, I didn't get fired.

And now, for the best part of my blog.

Two days ago, I was out at a cart (and it felt like 100,000 degrees out, but in reality, it was only like 100 degrees...) selling water bottle fans. I would spray unsuspecting guests, and they would either be thrilled, or get kind of mad about it...most people were thrilled, thankfully.

Anyway.

Here's how one of my encounters went:

Man: "Douse me girl, douse me!"
Jessica: "OK."
M: "That was great! What kind of deal can you give me on that fan?"
J: "I can sell it to you for $17!"
M: "That's not a deal! That's how much it costs!"
J: "I can fill it up with ice?"
M: "Alright, girl! You SOLD me!!"

Then, he moves his head in a zig zag motion and says:
M: "Guuuurl! If I wasn't gay, I'd snap you RIGHT up!!"

He saw me later in the day and told me if he wasn't gay, he'd kidnap me. He also asked where I was from, and I said Michigian, and he said he was from Ohio. Then he says, "I work for NASA!" and then does the Heisman move and runs out the store. What a great guy.


For those of you wondering, the man in the picture is not the same man. I just wanted you to get a mental picture. My gay friend was skinny, white, wore glasses, and was almost 50 years old.

I know. Excellent.

So, that's pretty much my life.

On top of all that wonderfulness, I'm watching Air Bud right now.

Yes. It's true.

Peace out,
Jessica

Oh. P.S.

I had to clean the apartment today because we get room inspections (LAME!!!). It took like an hour and a half, but as I'm cleaning the bathroom with bleach, I spray down the mirrors to clean them, smell something funny, and then realize that I'm using bleach and ammonia at the same time. Oops. At least I had the sense to close the bathroom door and use the fan to ventilate it and get out.

At least if I had died, they would have found me rotting away as the inspected my room.

And probably would have then fined me.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, the Castle is pretty much BEAUTIFUL! I want to live there too! So I am bookmarking your blog so I can remember to read it often!:) You make me smile!

Anonymous said...

Yeah that was me ALYSSUM* not Anonymous!

James said...

Get some beatdown, Dopey.

And you should see the actual castle (Neuschwanstein) that Cinderella's castle, which is nestled in the Bavarian Alps. If it's like that one, then I truly believe your reports of awesomosity.

Lizzi said...

I'm so bummed no one told me, but I'm happy to see that pose. I'm sure we would've had a great day at Disneyworld where he would've proposed to me and told me Vanessa meant nothing to him and we would've gotten married immediately and spent our honeymoon in that room in Cinderella's castle because he's rich and could afford it. I'm so glad that I know all of this now. :o)

erin said...

Haha, I hope you would get fined for rotting away in the bathroom. You'll have to let me know how those inspections went.
Also... 2 of the girls in my SWK classes worked in the daycare at NASA in Ohio this summer. Maybe they can hook you up with your man. :-)

Andrew said...

Where did my comment go? I swear I already left one....

I'm surprised Johnny Depp doesn't have chest hair. I don't know, that's just really shocking to me.

And I scrolled down before I actually read it and I saw the picture and thought you had met Desmond Howard and I was about to FREAK OUT! Then I remembered your gay friend.

E said...

Of course Johnny Depp has chest hair he just waxes it like a freak. Glad to hear you didn't kill yourself accidentally though.

Anonymous said...

you are too funny. :)
JM

kate.yo said...

he did the heisman. :) your life is 100% better than mine.

MelissaB said...

i really enjoy hearing about all of your wonderful encounters. and please please remember to never mix ammonia and bleach again! we really want you to stay alive for the next few decades ;-)